How do we cope with challenging emotions, especially in the face of suffering in the world around us? As we watch the news or scan social media, it seems that the problems that face us are ever-growing: climate change and natural disasters, hunger and food insecurity, wars, disease, polarization, and violence. Not to mention our own personal stressors in areas such as relationships, finances, career, and our physical and mental health.

On top of that, those of us on the vegan path face what psychologist, Clare Mann (author of Vystopia: The Anguish of Being Vegan in a Non-Vegan World), calls the “burden of knowing”: we have become aware of the vast suffering of animals in the food system and other oppressive systems, and want to raise awareness to end this suffering. How do we cope when it seems that most of society – and our political and social systems – are oblivious or indifferent to the impact of our daily choices on the planet and on sentient beings?

As a highly sensitive person and empath, I face my own share of difficult feelings – times of sadness, despair, anger, and fear. And sometimes I find myself in a downward emotional spiral when I listen to the news – or read negative, attacking comments on social media – or when I feel like an outsider at social events that are centered around animal foods. Sometimes I can handle these situations with strength, grace, and wisdom. But sometimes these situations bring me down into emotional negativity. Maybe you can relate.

I don’t have all the answers for how to handle difficult emotional experiences. However, as a lifelong seeker of personal and spiritual growth, and previously a psychotherapist for 25 years, I have committed myself to discovering ways to cope, transmute, and thrive through unsettling and painful emotions. Below, I share ten tips for coping with difficult emotions, drawing on my experience, the wisdom of other experts, and insights from my forthcoming book, The Vegan Transformation: A Journey to Heal Yourself and the World.

1. Remember that emotions are natural and essential – including the painful ones.

When we experience painful events, witness others’ suffering, or become aware of the widespread exploitation and harm to sentient beings, it is normal to experience sadness, anger, and even hopelessness or despair. It’s important to understand that emotions are essential for our survival and thriving. Even the emotions that we label as “negative,” like fear, sadness, or anger, serve important adaptive functions, helping us to recognize our needs and to take appropriate action. Many times, we wish to bury or push away negative emotions because we fear becoming overwhelmed by them. However, learning to acknowledge and move through our emotions is essential to psychological, physical, and interpersonal wellness. This mindful acknowledgement of our emotional experience reduces the risk that we will bury our feelings or become “stuck” in a particular emotion. Ultimately, acknowledging our emotions enables us to engage in life more fully and authentically.

2. Start by naming your emotions.

For example, “I’m feeling sad, angry, afraid,” or whatever feelings you are experiencing. By giving language to feelings, it often diffuses their emotional intensity. It helps us to gain some distance, so that we recognize that these are feelings (mental experiences), which can guide us, but do not define us. This helps to bring the Wise Brain back online, so that we can access more resources for coping. Listing all your feelings on paper can help to acknowledge the complex interplay of emotions underneath your distress. Sometimes we may be feeling sad, angry, afraid, and/or hopeful all at the same time. As you write out what you are feeling, this doesn’t mean getting caught up in your “story” around these feelings. Spending endless time justifying our reactions, interpretations, and/or “rightness” can keep us stuck. Simply name and acknowledge the different feelings you are experiencing, and be aware of the needs and desires that accompany them. If you have difficulties identifying your feelings, tools like the Feelings Wheel can help. In addition, the Center for Nonviolent Communication offers a helpful list of feelings and needs.

3. Develop skills for processing feelings and moving them through the body.

Strategies for working through feelings include mindfulness, yoga, journaling, taking a walk, being in nature, or spending time with companion animals. In addition, you may wish to incorporate powerful practices such as lovingkindness meditation, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), Internal Family Systems (IFS), or HeartMath techniques. I’ve included hyperlinks for each of these in case you wish to explore them further. I practice regular journaling, prayer, walks in nature, visualization, and mindfulness meditation to help stay grounded – and use IFS and EFT when I need emotional power tools.

4. It’s healthy to let yourself cry.

Tears help us release emotions such as sadness, sorrow, and grief. Sometimes we fear crying because we are afraid that we won’t be able to stop, or we will look weak to others. However, for most people, there is tremendous relief after a good cry. In addition, research shows that tears can make relationships stronger, because they help others relate to us. Allowing yourself to release tears helps you and may help to advocate more effectively as well.

5. Anger is a normal response to injustice, cruelty, and oppression.

It’s okay to feel angry – this is a natural response when we feel that we or others are being treated unjustly. The bigger issue is how you relate to and handle anger. First, as with any emotion, it’s helpful to name it and draw on coping skills to process and release physical tension in the body. Once we are calmer, we can discern wise and effective ways to respond to our anger. Chronic anger is not healthy for us or helpful for creating the changes we want to see. Unprocessed anger tends to lead to aggressive or hostile communication, which typically causes others to put up their defenses, rather than be receptive to our message. A healthier and more effective approach is to first calm and regulate the nervous system and then discern wise words and empowered actions that help toward our larger objective.

6. Remember healthy self-care in daily life.

To thrive emotionally and inspire the change we want to see in the world, we must include ourselves in our circle of compassion. Just as we would nurture a beloved friend, child, or companion animal, we need to extend that nurturing care toward ourselves. This ongoing self-care can also give us greater emotional resilience for handling difficult feelings. For example:

• Eat nutrient-dense plant foods to nourish yourself optimally. Research finds that a plant-strong diet rich in antioxidants, fiber, and other nutrients is associated with improved moods and emotional health. This includes eating plenty of fruits, veggies, legumes, nuts, seeds, and whole grains, while reducing or eliminating inflammatory foods such as fast food, sugar, meat, and dairy.
• Incorporate regular movement and exercise, restorative sleep, and meaningful time with loved ones, and avoid use of harmful substances.
• Include regular stress management and emotional self-care practices, such as meditation, yoga, breathing techniques, journaling, spiritual practices, time in nature, connecting with beauty, and/or time with companion animals.
• Find the right balance of work and rest; time with others and time alone.
• Set boundaries on your exposure to disturbing news, images, and social media posts. Seek out positive and inspiring sources of information and support.

7. Your focus affects your physiology.

Rather than focus solely on what is wrong in the world, we can consciously imagine the compassionate, sustainable, and healthy world we want to see – and celebrate any signs of movement in that direction. While we all have negative thoughts from time to time, we don’t have to stay stuck there. Take a moment to consider, what motivates you? What gives you hope? Create daily affirmations and intentions that reconnect you with your WHY. Talk to yourself in encouraging ways and affirm steps of progress. Nurture moments of laughter, humor, and joy, and seek out positive support and inspiration. Why is this important? Our thoughts impact our physiology and how we feel and act, and how others respond to us. More empowered thoughts reap more productive interactions and outcomes.

8. Recognize the good that is happening.

Notice the blessings in your life. What positives do you experience emotionally, physically, interpersonally, and/or spiritually? Even though there is still much healing that needs to happen in our world, how do your choices make a positive difference? Also, notice the positives happening within the larger vegan movement and toward causes you care about. When you intentionally notice the good that is happening, it allows it to expand, not only in your consciousness, but also in the world. And there are many hopeful things happening. For example, there is tremendous growth in the vegan movement, greater awareness around social and animal justice issues, more plant-based products in the marketplace, and countless devoted advocates working to create a kinder, healthier, and more sustainable world.

9. Take positive action.

Joan Baez, the songwriter and activist, is noted for saying, “Action is the antidote to despair.” Being involved in a cause that matters to us can make all the difference in our sense of well-being, hope, and purpose. Whatever the cause that most speaks to you, whether animal protection, climate and environmental issues, human health, mental health, world hunger, injustice or oppression, spiritual healing, or any other issue, taking positive action can move you from powerless to empowered. If you are already involved in a cause or a movement, take a moment to appreciate what you are contributing. And if something feels missing in this area of your life, explore how you can connect with others who share your mission and passion – and discover ways to collaborate and contribute your gifts.

10. Know when to seek help.

If you experience severe emotional distress or symptoms that are disrupting your life, consider seeking support from a qualified psychotherapist or professional. In Defense of Animals offers resources and a list of therapists who are sensitive to vegan and animal rights issues. The support of a trained professional, who not only understands your feelings and concerns, but also offers tools for coping, can make a world of difference.

It is part of our human journey to experience a complex array of emotions, including some that are difficult and distressing. May you bring kindness to yourself through these feelings, practice compassionate self-care, and discover the wise actions you are called to take. Each of us has a part to play in creating a more compassionate and just world, one that recognizes our interconnectedness with all beings and with all of Nature. Often our toughest emotions are important keys that ultimately guide us to what matters most.