Mindfully choosing to eat plant-based, as an expression of care for animals, the environment, and our own health, creates a massive internal shift. As we eat more compassionately and leave animals off our plates, we may discover transformations in heart, mind, and spirit that we never expected. We encounter a sense of peace, fulfillment, and freedom that – for many of us – far outweighs any challenges of stepping into this way of living.
As a psychologist and a vegan, I have been fascinated by the psychological changes experienced by those who take the vegan path. While there has been considerable research on the health benefits of a plant-based lifestyle, I found less exploration of how living vegan can impact us emotionally and psychologically. This led to research for my book, The Vegan Transformation: A Journey to Heal Yourself and the World (Lantern Publishing & Media, 2025), surveying and interviewing vegans about the emotional and spiritual impacts of their lifestyle. After collating the most common experiences, seven transformative pillars emerged.
These pillars are foundational aspects of a flourishing life. While there are no guarantees that being vegan will bring these qualities into your life, they capture an experience that is common for many vegans. This is the possibility of creating a meaningful and fulfilling life that also contributes to a kinder, healthier world. Below I describe the seven transformative pillars.
Values alignment
Tangibly honoring our values through our food choices and other purchases can be one of the most fulfilling and freeing aspects of being vegan. As we clarify our core values and make daily choices in accord with these values, we feel truer to ourselves and more at peace. We discover the courage to honor our conscience and course-correct when our actions are out of alignment. We dare to be different, guided by the ethics of kindness and nonviolence.
Cultivating compassion
In choosing veganism, we widen our circle of compassion. Rather than compartmentalizing our empathy to select groups, we become willing to witness and, whenever possible, alleviate the suffering of sentient beings. As we extend our compassion to all beings, we make choices that bring kindness, wholeness, and freedom for ourselves and others. We discover the courage and tenacity to go against the status quo – and take a stand that all sentient beings deserve a life that is free from unnecessary suffering.
Deeper meaning and purpose
Becoming vegan can fuel our sense of purpose, as we realize we have the power to create positive change and lessen suffering. Many of us are drawn to bring our unique gifts and skills to raise awareness about the impacts of our food choices. It doesn’t matter whether we serve on a smaller scale in our family or community, or on a larger, global scale. We each have a meaningful purpose to fulfill.
Authentic fulfillment
Many vegans discover authentic fulfillment, even as we awaken to realities that are quite distressing. This fulfillment doesn’t mean “feeling good” all the time, but rather, learning to navigate our full spectrum of emotions and finding peace in doing what we can. We nurture our holistic well-being when we eat whole plant foods and incorporate nourishing activities and lifestyle practices.
True connection
When we embrace a vegan lifestyle, we discover a like-hearted tribe of other vegans who share our convictions. We may make these connections through online networks, social media groups, or local meetups. These meaningful connections nourish and strengthen us. As we take this road less traveled, we also learn to peacefully navigate relationships with others not yet on this path.
Health empowerment
Many vegans discover the powerful healing benefits of a plant-based lifestyle for addressing degenerative diseases. This discovery brings something beyond physical healing; it brings empowerment, the realization that we have more control over our well-being than we ever knew. Even though we all face the inevitability of aging and death, and perhaps some ailments along the way, empowerment is about taking action where we can and living as vibrantly as possible.
Discovering our interconnectedness
Once we are no longer eating animals, new awareness can emerge. Many vegans report a deepening spirituality, increased awe of the natural world, and a greater sense of our interconnection with all of nature. We realize that we are connected in ways that we can’t quite define and that bring a sense of wonder, mystery, and magic to our lives. Gradually, we see that caring for each part of this intricate system serves our own well-being and the greatest good.
These seven pillars are supported by psychological research as keys to a life that is rich and meaningful. When we bring these pillars together with a vegan lifestyle, their synergistic power can be transformative. As we eat more compassionately and sustainably, we embrace a vision where all beings can flourish, and discover that making the kind choice also nourishes us.
For information on moving toward (and thriving with) a plant-powered, vegan lifestyle, check out my Resource List.
Angela Crawford, Ph.D. is a psychologist and author of The Vegan Transformation: A Journey to Heal Yourself and the World (Lantern Publishing & Media, 2025), which was launched on April 22, 2025, Earth Day.
Dr. Crawford is certified as a MSVA Master Vegan Lifestyle Coach and Educator, licensed PCRM Food for Life instructor, and Transformational Coach. A speaker and teacher about the psychological benefits of veganism, she is passionate about the power of personal transformation to create a more fulfilling and purposeful life, and a kinder, healthier world.
One of the most important – but often overlooked – aspects of thriving with a plant-powered, vegan lifestyle is having a strong support network. Research suggests that social challenges are among the most common reasons for straying from a plant-based lifestyle. Many find it hard to eat differently than those in their social circle, to be the “odd one out.” Having a social network with other vegans appears to strengthen our commitment and adherence. It also brings joy and fulfillment, as we connect with like-hearted others. Supportive social relationships have been hugely important on my journey, as well as for many of the vegans I interviewed for my recently released book, The Vegan Transformation: A Journey to Heal Yourself and the World (Lantern, 2025).
To experience the transformation that is possible with a vegan lifestyle, we can’t do it alone. We need others we can talk to, and share our hopes, dreams, and challenges. These supportive relationships inspire and uplift us. They give us hope and strengthen our commitment during challenging times. They empower and encourage us. In many cases, they collaborate toward a shared vision, whether to be more healthy, awaken spiritually, advocate for animals, or heal our planet.
Learning to build supportive connections with other vegans, as well as with non-vegan friends and family, is important for thriving with your plant-powered lifestyle. Below are five tips for building greater social fulfillment and connection:
Join vegan networks or groups. Whether online or in person, it’s important to create vegan friendships where you feel supported, nurtured, and inspired. This may include online meetings, plant-based conferences, local meet-ups, or volunteering for a vegan or animal rights organization.These networks provide a safe space to share feelings and receive support. It isn’t the size of network that is most important; even a few vegan friends can make a huge difference. You can find these networks through searching online, on social media, or connecting with a local plant-based Building Healthy Communities group.
Be okay with being different. This is a big one—because eating plant-based is still a minority lifestyle, and for many of us, it isn’t easy to go against the status quo. We are biologically wired to want to fit in and avoid social rejection. Some people are more naturally rebellious and may not find this as difficult, but for many, it can be a major struggle. Thriving vegans discover how to shift their mindset around the idea of being “different.” It’s important to connect with a strong WHY for your choice to be vegan. What motivated you to choose a vegan lifestyle? Staying connected with these motivations strengthens you to hold your beliefs in the face of social pressures. This will empower you to speak up and honor your values with courage and integrity.
Learn to speak up assertively and effectively. Thriving vegans develop the ability to express their feelings, needs, and perspectives in ways that create heart-felt dialogue. Unfortunately, many of us lack the ability to skillfully navigate differences, and this leads to unresolved conflicts and emotional cut-offs. Many of us fall into extremes of being too passive (people-pleasing and avoiding conflict) – or too aggressive (speaking out in angry or hostile ways), rather than being assertive (speaking up clearly, directly, and respectfully). Thriving vegans work to develop healthy communication skills. These skills empower you to set boundaries around which situations you are willing (or not willing) to be part of and explore new ways to connect with those you love, including replacing old traditions that center around animal foods. (See my Resource List for books and resources on improving communication).
Create vegan allies. Even when your loved ones are not willing to go plant-based along with you, you can request their support for your journey. In her book Beyond Beliefs, Dr. Melanie Joy emphasizes the value of cultivating vegan “allies” who understand and support your vegan choice. These are people who, although not necessarily vegan themselves, do not undermine your choice to be vegan, and advocate for you when you need support. This is important because you are more likely to thrive on your journey when others are supportive and understand why a vegan lifestyle matters to you. Asking someone to be an ally lessens the likelihood they will try to sabotage your lifestyle – and invites them to be more receptive to learn about veganism, because they are not feeling personally pressured or judged.
Planting seeds for positive change. Focus on being a positive role model who embodies the compassion and well-being you wish to inspire in others. Rather than staying stuck in frustration when others are not willing to change, realize that everyone has their own journey. Pressuring or criticizing others rarely works to create personal or social transformation. At the same time, you can plant seeds that will help others, never knowing when those seeds may take root. As you embody a healthy, fulfilling, plant-powered lifestyle, you never know who you may inspire, and what transformations may unfold.
Developing meaningful connections is one of the joys that can come with discovering your passion for vegan living, and sharing this with others. Our connections strengthen us, bring fulfillment, and inspire us to be better versions of ourselves. Strengthening our skills for healthy relating, navigating differences, and nurturing support helps to create a healthy and fulfilling life, and a thriving, joyful vegan lifestyle.
While holidays are often a beautiful time of celebration and connection, they can also be rife with family expectations, unhealthy dynamics, and old emotional baggage. These “normal” holiday challenges can be intensified and magnified for those of us living a vegan lifestyle. We may feel like we are walking a delicate tightrope, surrounded by family gatherings, foods, and traditions that don’t align with our values. Under these circumstances, it’s easy to feel isolated, anxious, tense, and even emotionally drained. How can we maintain our peace while honoring our compassionate values? In this article, I discuss three key practices to navigate the holidays with grace and resilience (and maybe even a little joy sprinkled in).
First, before we dive in, I invite you to reflect: What social situations are most challenging for YOU during the holidays? Perhaps you are the only vegan in your family or social circle, and you feel isolated and unsupported. Perhaps you are not sure how to navigate social gatherings centered around animal foods. Or you feel frustrated by family tensions or conflicts. Whatever your holiday challenges, it can be incredibly helpful to proactively develop a plan for how to approach these.
You may wish to grab a note pad or journal to reflect on the questions and suggestions offered below. Consider your personal situation, goals, and desires – and create your own unique holiday self-care “prescription.”
1. Be intentional
Once we become vegan, we see the world very differently than we had previously. We now recognize animal foods (the “centerpiece” of many holiday meals) as the products of suffering, and no longer choose to purchase, eat, or partake in these. As we learn more about the impact of our choices (on animals, humans, the planet, and our own health), we move toward more mindful, conscious, healthy, and compassionate ways of living. Whether others are ready to join us yet or not, we can still be proactive in considering how we want to celebrate. We have the power to influence how our holidays will be.
I invite you to take a moment to envision your ideal holiday season. Take some time to dream and imagine. Who would you spend the time with during the holidays? What kinds of things would you focus on? What foods would you eat? What activities would you engage in? What are the values you want to live by and the mindsets you want to cultivate? Play out an “ideal” holiday, from when you get up to when you go to bed, using all your senses – sights, sounds, sensations, feelings, smells, and tastes.
Now, as you’ve visualized what your ideal holiday might look and feel like, let’s bring it down to a more tangible level. While your vision may or may not fully unfold, there are things you can do to help move in that direction. Reflect on the following questions:
What social events and family traditions do you want to continue to be part of?
Which events will you choose NOT to attend?
What new traditions would you like to create?
What vegan foods will you prepare and bring to events?
How will you incorporate time for rest, renewal, and self-care?
How will you communicate with non-vegan family and friends about the changes you would like to make?
Be creative in exploring solutions that work best for you. It may be as simple as bringing lots of great vegan dishes to social gatherings – ensuring that you have food to eat, while allowing others to discover how scrumptious plant-based cuisine can be. Or you may decline to attend certain gatherings, and instead, plan a vegan meal with friends. Perhaps you might get together with non-vegan family and friends later for a drink, vegan dessert, or movie. Maybe you will schedule some personal time for an activity you love. As you consider these questions and ideas, give yourself time to explore what feels best to you and to discover creative solutions.
2. Emotional self-care
No matter how beautifully you plan your holidays, you’re probably going to experience some anxiety, stress, tension, or frustration at some point. For many of us, holidays are already a stressful time, because there’s so much baggage attached to it. There are family expectations and dynamics, as well as cultural messages and expectations. This “normal” holiday stress can be magnified when we have experienced life changes or losses – or are living and eating differently than the majority of those around us. This means that having an emotional self-care plan for the holidays is essential.
Here again, being proactive can be hugely helpful in preparing for and thriving through the holidays. Take time to reflect (and journal) on the following questions:
Which holiday situations do you anticipate will likely bring up stress? How can you prepare for these situations?
What plan can you have for handling unexpected stressors? What techniques can you use in the moment to manage stress?
How can you implement ongoing self-care to lessen stress?
What self-talk and actions will nurture greater self-compassion?
How will you nourish yourself physically? (e.g., eating plenty of healthy whole plant foods, exercising, getting adequate sleep).
What support systems do you have in place?
What pleasurable activities will you enjoy? How can you take time to laugh, play, and enjoy the beauty of life?
Mindful self-awareness is an important foundation for healthy emotional self-care. Consider checking in with yourself periodically to ask these questions: What am I feeling? What do I need? Do I have the energy or bandwidth to continue this conversation or situation right now? Can I take a moment to pause and return to this later? What would nourish me right now, or what might I need to do later?
To navigate emotional stress more effectively, it helps to develop ongoing self-care practices (your self-care “prescription”). Choose a few practices that you are willing to commit to regularly, such as meditation, yoga, affirmations, breathing techniques, taking a walk, time in nature, journaling, time with companion animals, art, or music.
Based on the questions and suggestions above, what daily practices will you implement to relax, manage stress, and process emotions? Write out your holiday self-care prescription, including how and when you will implement these practices. (For additional suggestions, see my recent article on coping with difficult emotions.)
3. Healthy communication
As you explore new ways to navigate the holidays, ultimately you will need to communicate with others about your desired changes. In approaching these conversations, you may wish to reflect: What are creative ways to honor my values AND enjoy meaningful festivities with those I love? How can I communicate this in ways that allow me to be true to myself, while remaining connected to those I care about?
If you are a new vegan, this will include letting those close to you know that you are no longer eating animal products. You may need to explain that you will not be eating Grandma’s beloved pumpkin pie or Uncle Pete’s special pasta Bolognese. It’s important to recognize that for some people, sharing food is their way of sharing love. In these situations, it can be helpful to emphasize that you still love and value the other person(s) and your relationship – and that your decision to go vegan is a personal one, based on values such as ethics or health. You might offer to bring some vegan dishes to share and note that you are happy to provide more information about veganism or plant-based diets if they are interested.
There is an art to effective communication. In some situations, communication flows smoothly and naturally, and you don’t have to give it a lot of thought. However, some conversations can be emotionally charged, and therefore more challenging. Below are some suggestions for navigating these challenging conversations more effectively.
Set an intention for your communication.
The book Crucial Conversations emphasizes the importance of taking time to pause and clarify your intentions and desires before initiating important conversations. This allows you to connect with your Wise Brain, the part of your brain that holds emotional intelligence. Take a deep breath, and then ask yourself questions such as: “What do I really want here – for myself and for the other person? What do I want for the larger situation? What is the best way to express myself to create those results?” This reflection connects you with your deeper wishes, so you can be proactive, not reactive, in how you communicate. It helps to discern the right timing, words, tone, and body language to have a fruitful conversation.
Is your agenda healthy?
In her book, Beyond Beliefs: A Guide to Improving Relationships and Communication for Vegans, Vegetarians, and Meat Eaters, Dr. Melanie Joy discusses the importance of having healthy expectations and intentions for our communication. When we are focused on being “right,” or changing another person, this rarely leads to meaningful communication. Perhaps the healthiest intention for a conversation is greater mutual understanding. We may have secondary goals, but without mutual understanding, our conversation becomes more of a lecture or monologue, not a true interaction. We are each more likely to be touched and moved when we feel heard and understood. Our words will also have more impact, coming from a place of greater understanding and connection.
Communicate assertively, not passively or aggressively.
Assertive communication entails expressing your feelings and needs clearly and directly, in a way that is respectful of the other person as well as yourself. When you communicate assertively, you are honest about what you feel, where you stand, and what you would like to see happen, and at the same time, do this in a way that honors the dignity of the other person. Assertive communication is not just about words, but also about a respectful tone of voice, body language, and manner. It includes using “I-language,” and sharing your perspective and story so that others can better understand where you are coming from. It also involves active listening, to better understand the other’s concerns and perspectives. Assertive communication increases the likelihood of achieving greater mutual understanding and discovering creative solutions.
Passive communication, in contrast, is when we don’t speak up at all, or dance around the issues, rather than be clear and direct. Often this occurs when we are trying to please others or avoid conflict. When we are indirect, this may lead to misunderstandings, and even unintended conflict, because others can’t “read” our desires and intentions.
And then there’s aggressive communication, which comes across as hostile or threatening. It can range from speaking in an angry tone of voice, to name-calling, to verbal attacks, even to physical violence. Those on the receiving end of aggression tend to feel threatened, which triggers a fight-or-flight response, often leading to anger (fight), or to withdrawal (flight). Passive-aggressive behavior is a more subtle form of aggression, which can include sarcasm, ridicule, or sabotaging behaviors. If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of aggressive or passive-aggressive communication, consider how this made you feel. It’s safe to say that this style of communicating rarely lends itself to positive understanding or meaningful change.
Consider: How can you implement intentional, healthy, assertive communication to express your wishes, needs, and/or changes in holiday plans with loved ones? (Check out my Vegan Communication Resource list for additional resources to improve communication.)
Bringing it all together
In this article I’ve discussed three core strategies for navigating the holidays more peacefully: Being intentional and proactive, prioritizing emotional self-care, and implementing healthy communication skills. Developing these skills occurs over time and with practice. While being vegan in a not-yet-vegan world can bring up emotional and interpersonal challenges, it contributes to so much that is positive – for animals, the planet, and for our own health and peace of mind. In honoring our deepest values, and walking the path less traveled, veganism offers an opportunity to live more authentically in our relationship with ourself and with others. Living authentically may ulitimately enable us to navigate the holidays (and beyond) with greater grace, peace, fulfillment, and joy.
How do we cope with challenging emotions, especially in the face of suffering in the world around us? As we watch the news or scan social media, it seems that the problems that face us are ever-growing: climate change and natural disasters, hunger and food insecurity, wars, disease, polarization, and violence. Not to mention our own personal stressors in areas such as relationships, finances, career, and our physical and mental health.
On top of that, those of us on the vegan path face what psychologist, Clare Mann (author of Vystopia: The Anguish of Being Vegan in a Non-Vegan World), calls the “burden of knowing”: we have become aware of the vast suffering of animals in the food system and other oppressive systems, and want to raise awareness to end this suffering. How do we cope when it seems that most of society – and our political and social systems – are oblivious or indifferent to the impact of our daily choices on the planet and on sentient beings?
As a highly sensitive person and empath, I face my own share of difficult feelings – times of sadness, despair, anger, and fear. And sometimes I find myself in a downward emotional spiral when I listen to the news – or read negative, attacking comments on social media – or when I feel like an outsider at social events that are centered around animal foods. Sometimes I can handle these situations with strength, grace, and wisdom. But sometimes these situations bring me down into emotional negativity. Maybe you can relate.
I don’t have all the answers for how to handle difficult emotional experiences. However, as a lifelong seeker of personal and spiritual growth, and previously a psychotherapist for 25 years, I have committed myself to discovering ways to cope, transmute, and thrive through unsettling and painful emotions. Below, I share ten tips for coping with difficult emotions, drawing on my experience, the wisdom of other experts, and insights from my forthcoming book, The Vegan Transformation: A Journey to Heal Yourself and the World.
1.Remember that emotions are natural and essential – including the painful ones.
When we experience painful events, witness others’ suffering, or become aware of the widespread exploitation and harm to sentient beings, it is normal to experience sadness, anger, and even hopelessness or despair. It’s important to understand that emotions are essential for our survival and thriving. Even the emotions that we label as “negative,” like fear, sadness, or anger, serve important adaptive functions, helping us to recognize our needs and to take appropriate action. Many times, we wish to bury or push away negative emotions because we fear becoming overwhelmed by them. However, learning to acknowledge and move through our emotions is essential to psychological, physical, and interpersonal wellness. This mindful acknowledgement of our emotional experience reduces the risk that we will bury our feelings or become “stuck” in a particular emotion. Ultimately, acknowledging our emotions enables us to engage in life more fully and authentically.
2.Start by naming your emotions.
For example, “I’m feeling sad, angry, afraid,” or whatever feelings you are experiencing. By giving language to feelings, it often diffuses their emotional intensity. It helps us to gain some distance, so that we recognize that these are feelings (mental experiences), which can guide us, but do not define us. This helps to bring the Wise Brain back online, so that we can access more resources for coping. Listing all your feelings on paper can help to acknowledge the complex interplay of emotions underneath your distress. Sometimes we may be feeling sad, angry, afraid, and/or hopeful all at the same time. As you write out what you are feeling, this doesn’t mean getting caught up in your “story” around these feelings. Spending endless time justifying our reactions, interpretations, and/or “rightness” can keep us stuck. Simply name and acknowledge the different feelings you are experiencing, and be aware of the needs and desires that accompany them. If you have difficulties identifying your feelings, tools like theFeelings Wheel can help. In addition, the Center for Nonviolent Communication offers a helpful list of feelings and needs.
3.Develop skills for processing feelingsand moving them through the body.
Strategies for working through feelings include mindfulness, yoga, journaling, taking a walk, being in nature, or spending time with companion animals. In addition, you may wish to incorporate powerful practices such as lovingkindness meditation, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), Internal Family Systems (IFS), or HeartMath techniques. I’ve included hyperlinks for each of these in case you wish to explore them further. I practice regular journaling, prayer, walks in nature, visualization, and mindfulness meditation to help stay grounded – and use IFS and EFT when I need emotional power tools.
4.It’s healthy to let yourself cry.
Tears help us release emotions such as sadness, sorrow, and grief. Sometimes we fear crying because we are afraid that we won’t be able to stop, or we will look weak to others. However, for most people, there is tremendous relief after a good cry. In addition, research shows that tears can make relationships stronger, because they help others relate to us. Allowing yourself to release tears helps you and may help to advocate more effectively as well.
5.Anger is a normal response to injustice, cruelty, and oppression.
It’s okay to feel angry – this is a natural response when we feel that we or others are being treated unjustly. The bigger issue is how you relate to and handle anger. First, as with any emotion, it’s helpful to name it and draw on coping skills to process and release physical tension in the body. Once we are calmer, we can discern wise and effective ways to respond to our anger. Chronic anger is not healthy for us or helpful for creating the changes we want to see. Unprocessed anger tends to lead to aggressive or hostile communication, which typically causes others to put up their defenses, rather than be receptive to our message. A healthier and more effective approach is to first calm and regulate the nervous system and then discern wise words and empowered actions that help toward our larger objective.
6. Remember healthy self-care in daily life.
To thrive emotionally and inspire the change we want to see in the world, we must include ourselves in our circle of compassion. Just as we would nurture a beloved friend, child, or companion animal, we need to extend that nurturing care toward ourselves. This ongoing self-care can also give us greater emotional resilience for handling difficult feelings. For example:
Eat nutrient-dense plant foods to nourish yourself optimally. Research finds that a plant-strong diet rich in antioxidants, fiber, and other nutrients is associated with improved moods and emotional health. This includes eating plenty of fruits, veggies, legumes, nuts, seeds, and whole grains, while reducing or eliminating inflammatory foods such as fast food, sugar, meat, and dairy.
Incorporate regular movement and exercise, restorative sleep, and meaningful time with loved ones, and avoid use of harmful substances.
Include regular stress management and emotional self-care practices, such as meditation, yoga, breathing techniques, journaling, spiritual practices, time in nature, connecting with beauty, and/or time with companion animals.
Find the right balance of work and rest; time with others and time alone.
Set boundaries on your exposure to disturbing news, images, and social media posts. Seek out positive and inspiring sources of information and support.
7. Your focus affects your physiology.
Rather than focus solely on what is wrong in the world, we can consciously imagine the compassionate, sustainable, and healthy world we want to see – and celebrate any signs of movement in that direction. While we all have negative thoughts from time to time, we don’t have to stay stuck there. Take a moment to consider, what motivates you? What gives you hope? Create daily affirmations and intentions that reconnect you with your WHY. Talk to yourself in encouraging ways and affirm steps of progress. Nurture moments of laughter, humor, and joy, and seek out positive support and inspiration. Why is this important? Our thoughts impact our physiology and how we feel and act, and how others respond to us. More empowered thoughts reap more productive interactions and outcomes.
8. Recognize the good that is happening.
Notice the blessings in your life. What positives do you experience emotionally, physically, interpersonally, and/or spiritually? Even though there is still much healing that needs to happen in our world, how do your choices make a positive difference? Also, notice the positives happening within the larger vegan movement and toward causes you care about. When you intentionally notice the good that is happening, it allows it to expand, not only in your consciousness, but also in the world. And there are many hopeful things happening. For example, there is tremendous growth in the vegan movement, greater awareness around social and animal justice issues, more plant-based products in the marketplace, and countless devoted advocates working to create a kinder, healthier, and more sustainable world.
9. Take positive action.
Joan Baez, the songwriter and activist, is noted for saying, “Action is the antidote to despair.” Being involved in a cause that matters to us can make all the difference in our sense of well-being, hope, and purpose. Whatever the cause that most speaks to you, whether animal protection, climate and environmental issues, human health, mental health, world hunger, injustice or oppression, spiritual healing, or any other issue, taking positive action can move you from powerless to empowered. If you are already involved in a cause or a movement, take a moment to appreciate what you are contributing. And if something feels missing in this area of your life, explore how you can connect with others who share your mission and passion – and discover ways to collaborate and contribute your gifts.
10. Know when to seek help.
If you experience severe emotional distress or symptoms that are disrupting your life, consider seeking support from a qualified psychotherapist or professional. In Defense of Animals offers resources and a list of therapists who are sensitive to vegan and animal rights issues. The support of a trained professional, who not only understands your feelings and concerns, but also offers tools for coping, can make a world of difference.
It is part of our human journey to experience a complex array of emotions, including some that are difficult and distressing. May you bring kindness to yourself through these feelings, practice compassionate self-care, and discover the wise actions you are called to take. Each of us has a part to play in creating a more compassionate and just world, one that recognizes our interconnectedness with all beings and with all of Nature. Often our toughest emotions are important keys that ultimately guide us to what matters most.
Angela Crawford, Ph.D. is a psychologist and vegan educator. She offers classes and resources to empower people toward a plant-powered lifestyle for physical and emotional well-being, compassion for all sentient beings, and caring for the planet. She is author of The Vegan Transformation: A Journey to Heal Yourself and the World (Lantern Publishing & Media, 2025).
Early on my vegan journey, I discovered many powerful reasons for eating plant-based. First and foremost was becoming more at peace with myself through making more compassionate choices and leaving animals off my plate. Before becoming plant-based, I couldn’t understand how anyone could be vegetarian or vegan – or what they would eat. But once I awakened my compassion for farmed animals, I couldn’t imagine turning back.
I quickly discovered that eating a plant-exclusive diet was not only kinder to animals – it was also better for my own health. Unlike what I had been taught growing up, I did not need meat or dairy to thrive. In fact, research studies have shown that a plant-based diet can help to prevent, and even reverse, many of our most common medical conditions, such as coronary heart disease and Type 2 diabetes. With a strong family history of cardiovascular disease, this really hit home for me. I also learned that eating a plant-based diet is one of the most powerful things we can do to live more sustainably on our planet.
Beyond the ethical, health, and environmental reasons for going veg, there are also psychological, emotional, and spiritual benefits. My own personal experience, as well as my research with other vegans for my forthcoming book, The Vegan Transformation: A Journey to Heal Yourself and the World, shows that often these emotional and spiritual shifts are among the most meaningful parts of being plant-based.
So, with all these wonderful benefits, it should be easy to share this lifestyle with others – our loved ones, acquaintances, coworkers, etc. – right? If we have discovered a major way to change lives for the better, why wouldn’t we want everyone to know about it – and hopefully inspire others to join us?
Sadly, things don’t always flow so smoothly when we navigate conversations about veganism. While plant-based diets are more popular than ever before, statistics show that vegans are still only about 3% of the population. Research suggests that social challenges are perhaps the biggest hurdle in starting and sustaining a vegan lifestyle. For many of us, it’s not easy to adopt a lifestyle that is different than most people around us, and we may experience stress, anxiety, or frustration when we try to navigate everyday social situations. I know this was certainly true for me, especially when I was a new vegan, as I struggled with an inner conflict between my desire to honor my values and my desire to “fit in” socially.
Take a moment to reflect: What social situations or conversations throw you off track, lead to stress, or cause you to react in ways you are not proud of? If you are like many vegans, this may include things like:
Navigating family and cultural traditions centered around animal foods
Handling social expectations, reactions, and dynamics
Not wanting to inconvenience others or make a “fuss”
Dealing with critical or judgmental comments about veganism
Not knowing any other plant-based eaters or vegans in your social circle
It is important to develop strategies that can help us handle these challenges successfully. How do we honor our personal values and goals, while navigating social gatherings and conversations where there may be conflict around these? How can we respond with grace and ease? Below I discuss four tips for thriving socially while living a plant-powered lifestyle.
1. Remember your WHY
First, let’s start with your foundation. What are your reasons for going plant-based? Is it compassion for animals, being healthier, improved fitness, overcoming a medical issue, caring for the planet, or environmental sustainability? Write down your primary reason(s), then go deeper with exploring this. How does being vegan or plant-based help toward things that really matter to you? How do your lifestyle choices affect the causes that you are passionate about? How does your WHY create a positive difference for yourself and for others?
After writing down your responses to these questions, it can be helpful to encapsulate them into one or two sentences that describe your WHY. Read your statement daily to help you stay connected with your deepest motivations. Remembering our reasons for going vegan can help us to weather challenges we face along the way. Staying connected to our WHY can give us to the resilience to learn new skills and to dare to be different on behalf of our vision, values, and goals.
2. Seek vegan support
Healthy relationships are paramount for our emotional and physical well-being. Supportive connections are especially important when we make a lifestyle change where we are living differently than many around us. Support from other vegans who share our passion and commitment provides numerous benefits. For one, we no longer feel alone. There is great relief and comfort in connecting with others who share our views, concerns, and joys. In addition, these kindred spirits cheer us on, provide camaraderie, and encourage us. They guide and support us in overcoming our difficulties, including ways to navigate challenging social situations.
How can you connect with other vegans? Consider these options:
Check out local or online vegan meetup groups
Go to Veg Fests or wellness expos
Attend plant-based and vegan courses, conferences, trainings, and programs
Create your own vegan event or local group
Volunteer with local animal sanctuaries, shelters, or vegan organizations
Follow vegans on social media, read vegan blogs, or listen to plant-based podcasts
Attend vegan cooking classes, such as Food for Life, to learn plant-based cooking skills and connect with other class participants.
3. Be prepared and proactive
As vegans, we quickly learn the importance of planning ahead, particularly when it comes to social events or traveling. Often, we realize this after attending an event where we discover, to our dismay, that there are no vegan options available. This happened to me more than once before I accepted that I needed to be proactive if I wanted to enjoy non-vegan social events. Here are some suggestions to proactively approach social situations:
For social events, talk to the host ahead of time. Let them know you are vegan, what you eat and don’t eat, and ask if they would be okay with you bringing a vegan dish to share. In some cases, they also may offer to provide something vegan for you.
For potlucks or holiday meals, bring delicious food to share. Not only will you ensure that you have something to eat, but you also offer the opportunity for others to experience how appealing plant-based cuisine can be.
When eating out, use the Happy Cow app or other online sites to find vegan and veg-friendly restaurants. If you are going to a restaurant that doesn’t have obvious vegan options, it helps to call ahead or talk with a staff person to see what options may be available. Be creative – look for ways to veganize existing menu options.
Create new holiday traditions. Perhaps you might provide a vegan meal for loved ones or offer to bring vegan side dishes. Or, perhaps you might enjoy a vegan potluck meal with friends, and later get together with family for a drink or an enjoyable activity. Envision how you want to enjoy your holidays, in ways that align with your values AND nurture your connection with loved ones.
4. Develop healthy communication skills
Successfully navigating social challenges calls on us to become effective communicators. This is not an ability we are necessarily born with; most of us need to work to develop our communication skills. Whether it is speaking up with the host of a social event, the wait staff at a restaurant, your mother, your partner, or the person who makes obnoxious comments about veganism, you need skills to communicate effectively. Thriving vegans develop the ability to express their feelings, needs, and perspectives in ways that create heart-felt dialogue. Unfortunately, many people lack the ability to skillfully navigate differences, and this leads to unresolved conflicts and emotional cut-offs.
There is an art to effective and generative communication. In general, an assertivecommunication approach (rather than being passive, aggressive, or passive-aggressive) is most effective for addressing differences and increasing mutual understanding. Assertive communication entails expressing your feelings and needs clearly, directly, and respectfully. You are honest about what you feel and what you would like to see happen, and at the same time, you are respectful of yourself and the other person.
Passive communication, in contrast, is when we don’t speak up at all, or dance around the issues, rather than be clear and direct. Often this occurs when we are trying to please others or avoid conflict. Aggressive communication is when we express ourselves in a critical, angry, or hostile way. Aggressive communication is often contagious; those on the receiving end of aggression tend to feel threatened, which often triggers them to react back with anger – or to withdraw and shut down. Passive-aggressive behavior is a more subtle form of aggression, which can include sarcasm, ridicule, or undermining behaviors. These communication styles tend to shut down connection, and generally are not helpful for increasing mutual understanding or resolving differences.
Now, think about the challenging social situation(s) that you identified earlier and what changes you would like to make. Start by clarifying your intentions for the situation. What do you hope to create—for yourself, for the other(s) involved, and for the larger picture? This reflection reconnects you with your deeper wishes, rather than being reactive. Once you have identified what you truly want for the relationship and/or situation, you can then determine the best way to move forward. Do you need a time-out to calm your emotions? How can you initiate a meaningful dialogue that will increase mutual understanding and create positive change? If you need help to improve your communication skills, check out my Communication Resource List for some great books and resources.
Developing these skills occurs over time and with practice. While being vegan in a not-yet-vegan world can be source of conflict, it can also be an opportunity to strengthen our communication and relational skills, as we learn how to work through differences. And it can be an opportunity to break through our old limiting patterns like people-pleasing or self-sabotage. Through remembering our WHY, creating a strong support network, being proactive, and nurturing healthy communication skills, we can honor our values AND navigate social situations with confidence and ease.
Have you experienced the healing power of a plant-based diet? If so, you are part of a growing movement of people who have discovered the personal and global benefits of eating healthfully, compassionately, and sustainably.
Eating plant-based (and excluding animal products) is compassionate to animals AND supports our health and well-being. A simple dietary change holds the secret to an ethical, environmentally friendly, and healthy life. Those of us who have experienced the myriad benefits of a plant-sourced diet often yearn to spread the positive message to others. This is such a natural feeling. If you’ve discovered a way to change your life for the better, why wouldn’t you want everyone to know about it? By sharing your plant-powered lifestyle with others, you have the power to help people make a positive change in their lives – and to create transformative healing in the world.
The health benefits of a whole plant food diet can include improved immune functioning, preventing and reversing chronic lifestyle disease, greater fitness and endurance, glowing skin, and aging more youthfully. Plant-powered living can also boost our emotional, mental, cognitive, and spiritual well-being.
And yet despite extensive scientific support for these benefits, many of us find that when we try to encourage others toward plant-based living, they tune us out, dismiss us, or become defensive.
How can we inspire others to live healthier lives – and ultimately to create a healthier world? In this article, I share three foundations for empowering positive change.
1. Be a positive role model
Your actions inspire others. It’s easy to underestimate the power of your presence. However, your way of being has more influence than almost anything you say. Embody the lifestyle that you hope to inspire in others. When you are healthy, active, compassionate, and appreciative, this draws others to want to discover your secret. When you gracefully navigate life’s ups and downs, and nourish your mind, body, and spirit, this is magnetizing. And when you genuinely care about helping others – when you are a support, rather than a critic – this opens up greater receptivity in others.
You can be a positive role model through sharing appetizing and healthy vegan food; nurturing your mind-body-spirit wellness; focusing on the positives of vegan/plant-based living; developing a strong support network; and handling life’s challenges proactively and positively.
2. Meet people where they are
Sometimes we expect others to change in the same way (or timeframe) that we did. Or we share the information that interests or motivates us – but which may or may not resonate for the other person. Expecting others to change on our terms is not realistic – and is often counterproductive. Generally, we can have a greater impact if we meet others where they are.
A helpful model for identifying someone’s openness to change is the Transtheoretical Model of Change (also called the Stages of Change), created by psychologists James Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente. The primary stages of change are: Precontemplation, Contemplation, Preparation, Action, and Maintenance. Developed to better understand the process of behavior change, it applies to all types of lifestyle change – including the transition to a plant-based lifestyle.
If you are talking to someone who is in Precontemplation, generally they are not interested in or ready to consider a plant-based lifestyle. This may be a hardcore meat eater, or someone who just doesn’t see a reason for lifestyle change. This doesn’t mean you can’t have an influence on them – but you will need to approach them differently than someone who has more interest or openness. In this stage, you may focus more on being a positive role model and inspiring their curiosity through your example. Also, be on the lookout for moments of greater receptivity. Learn more about their interests and concerns so that when appropriate, you can offer tidbits of relevant information or stories that may spark their interest. This may help them move toward the next stage of readiness, Contemplation.
In the Contemplation stage, they are considering moving toward a plant-based lifestyle. However, they are still on the fence, going back and forth about the pros and cons. You may support them to move forward by sharing the positives of plant-powered living, raising awareness of the costs of not changing their lifestyle, and empowering their confidence to take first steps.
When a person decides they are ready for change, they move into Preparation. In this stage, they begin to lay a foundation for action. They are likely to be eager for resources and information to help them move forward. This is the stage when they will most benefit from direct support, resources, guidance, and encouragement so they can successfully prepare for and take initial steps toward a healthy, plant-based lifestyle.
In Action, they are now living a plant-based lifestyle and discovering the skills and habits to nurture and sustain in daily life. They are still early on their journey, and will likely benefit from support, resources, and guidance to strengthen skills for plant-based living, overcome challenges, and maintain their momentum.
Those in Maintenance have sustained lifestyle change for six months or more. In this stage, they may face specific challenges (such as travel or social situations) where they need support and guidance. In addition, they will benefit from connecting with others who share their passion and nurture their commitment.
Recognizing the other person’s level of readiness for change can help immensely in discovering how to best connect with them and inspire steps forward.
3. Build bridges of connection
The third principle for supporting change is to create positive connections with those you want to inspire. Adopting a new lifestyle requires learning new habits, overcoming old beliefs and practices, and developing a new way of being. It can be more difficult to learn skills and create lasting change when we feel threatened or unsafe. Think about meaningful changes you’ve made in your life. Most likely, they weren’t the result of someone beating you over the head or trying to make you feel like a bad person. Usually, we change because something brought new insight or awareness – and because change felt like the right thing to do.
Thus, to empower others to change, we need to create a safe relational space for learning and growth. Judgment or contempt will trigger the other person into fight-or-flight mode, where the primary focus is self-protection and defense. In contrast, creating an atmosphere of calm, curiosity, care, and connection can open the door for new possibilities and actions.
How do we create these kinds of transformative connections? One helpful practice is intentionality. Before you have a conversation with someone, clarify your intentions. The authors of Crucial Conversations suggest asking yourself questions such as: What do you want for yourself, for the other person, for the relationship, and for the larger picture? And how can you best communicate to create that outcome? Being intentional connects you with your Wise Brain so that you express yourself effectively – not reactively.
An important foundational intention is to create mutual understanding. Even if you see things very differently, you will have more impact if you seek to understand the other person’s point of view and what matters to them. And they will be more open to understanding your perspective when they feel your true interest in them (without an agenda to push change they aren’t ready for or open to).
It’s also helpful to share positive and encouraging messages. Share how your life has been positively impacted through plant-based living. Encourage them in any steps they are taking toward greater health or compassion. Highlight and reinforce behaviors you hope to strengthen versus criticizing what is “wrong” or lacking.
Finally, focus on planting seeds of change. For most of us, many seeds are planted before we start or sustain a vegan/plant-based lifestyle. On my own journey, in retrospect, I now see many experiences that increased my readiness for change. First, it was eating delicious plant-based meals at a conference that made me realize that this lifestyle could be doable. A couple of months later, my stepdaughter ate only the vegetarian dishes at our family Thanksgiving. Again, seeds of possibility were planted. It was only a month or so after these events that I saw a program about meat processing plants that led me on the journey toward plant-based eating. Over time, I tried new recipes and expanded my food palette with delicious veg meals. In addition, I read all the books I could about the ethical and health aspects of our food choices. What I discovered led me to become vegetarian, and ultimately, vegan.
As you strive to empower others toward healthy, compassionate lifestyle choices, it’s important to remember: Just because someone doesn’t change immediately, it doesn’t mean that your words or example didn’t make a difference. Consider that perhaps seeds of possibility are being planted that will take root when the time is right. As more seeds of transformation are cultivated, we nurture a global movement toward greater health, kindness, compassion, and sustainability.
NOTE: This article is based on my presentation for The Science of Staying Young and Thriving: Experts Reveal the Fountain of Youth. To watch the full presentation / webinar on YouTube, CLICK HERE. My presentation is about 10 minutes into the webinar. The full webinar offers wonderful insights from plant-based doctors and leaders about the benefits of plant-based diets for youthful aging.
Angela Crawford, Ph.D. is passionate about the power of a plant-powered, vegan lifestyle for human health; emotional well-being; compassion for all sentient beings; and caring for our planet. She recently researched and wrote a book on the transformative impact of a vegan lifestyle for mind, body, and spirit, due to be published in 2025.
She holds a doctorate in Clinical Psychology and previously worked as a psychotherapist for over two decades. She holds certifications in Plant-Based Nutrition, as a Master Vegan Lifestyle Coach and Educator, and Transformational Coach.
I was at Starbucks with a friend from my church, a devoted vegan. It was 2007, early on my veg journey. I had just stayed up much of the night reading The Food Revolution by John Robbins. I was haunted by the stories and statistics – about immense animal suffering, human health crises, and the environmental destruction caused by our food choices. I was learning about factory farming – the overcrowding of animals, the horrific conditions in which they are raised, and the industrialized slaughter process.
Like many of us, I was raised to believe I needed meat and dairy in order to be healthy. But now I was beginning to question this “truth.” Through my reading, I discovered that our meat-heavy diets contribute to many chronic diseases that are rampant in Western cultures – including heart disease, which runs in my family.
There was no one in my immediate social circle who I could talk to about what I was learning – no one who really got it. Everyone around me was doing what I used to do – mindlessly eating the Standard American Diet (SAD) – heavy in meat, dairy, eggs, sweets, and processed foods.
We sat down with our coffees, my friend requesting plant-based milk instead of dairy milk. I expressed my distress in realizing that 70 to 80 billion farm animals are slaughtered worldwide each year, with unspeakable suffering in how the animals are raised and ultimately killed. I was also grappling with learning of the environmental impact – deforestation, depletion of land and water, pollution, greenhouse gas emissions, and destruction of ecosystems.
As I poured out my feelings, my friend’s presence and understanding were very reassuring. I don’t remember much of what we said, just that our time together was a comforting balm amid my disillusionment and anguish. She had experienced similar feelings when she made these discoveries years ago.
After that supportive visit with my vegan friend, I continued reading every book in my library on the topic. What I learned deepened my commitment. I went from daily meat eater to mostly vegetarian, to fully vegetarian, and in time, vegan. The more I learned, the more I became committed to a plant-based lifestyle, free of animal products. In every stage of my journey, finding support from others who were undergoing the same journey was key to not only sustaining my lifestyle, but also being a fulfilled and thriving vegan.
I met other vegans through on-line classes and groups and my local veg group. Over time, I connected with vegans across the globe – all sharing my passion for creating a more compassionate, healthy, and sustainable world. These conversations and connections had a deep impact, inspiring and uplifting me, and engaging me in a global movement of compassion and justice for all beings.
My vegan journey was so transformative, I longed to inspire others toward this compassionate, life-affirming path. This led to me researching and working on a bookabout the emotional, social, and spiritual impacts of a vegan lifestyle. I have surveyed over 350 vegans, following up with dozens of in-depth interviews about their experiences in choosing a vegan lifestyle.
One of the most transformative impacts reported by my research participants was “connecting with others who share my values.” My respondents found that in living their deepest values and discovering greater purpose, they forged deep and meaningful connections with others who shared these passions.
Many of the vegans I interviewed are serving their purpose through volunteering, working in aligned organizations, or creating businesses that provide vegan products or services. Their passions and contributions connect them with others who care deeply about these same issues. They report that these connections inspire them, uplift them, and nurture their commitment and hope during challenging times.
A few quotes from my research respondents:
“I’ve met so many wonderful, compassionate people since becoming vegan. It has helped me to focus where I volunteer my time, where I donate, and helps me live a life of purpose.”
“I have connected with other like-minded people and have more meaningful relationships than ever before.”
“I have found an amazing set of beautiful souls who have the same purpose in life.”
“I found a tribe of like-minded individuals and it feels great.”
We are wired to be social beings – our health and even our longevity is supported by meaningful connections. Vast research shows that those with quality relationships live longer and thrive better emotionally and physically. In contrast, loneliness and lack of support is associated with increased health and mental health issues – and is as detrimental as cigarette smoking, obesity, high blood pressure, or lack of exercise.
Forming connections with others who share our values is deeply fulfilling – and for vegans, who are living a minority lifestyle, aligned support is essential. Research suggests that lack of social support is one of the primary reasons for lapsing from veganism.
In addition to building strong connections with other vegans, we also must learn the art of being true to our values as we navigate our relationships with those who are not yet vegan, particularly those who do not understand our commitment to a vegan lifestyle. We have discovered truths that are deeply impactful to everything we care about – yet we often find that those closest to us are not interested in learning about a vegan or plant-based lifestyle, or understanding why it matters to us.
This paradox is common for many vegans – we find deep and meaningful connections with those who share our convictions. We feel more connected to ourselves and to Nature through our choices. And yet there are ongoing conflicts as we navigate being vegan in a not-yet-vegan world. How do we successfully navigate these challenges? How do we find true connection with others AND be true to ourselves and our values?
Here are seven tips for nurturing healthy connections (while staying true to your values):
1. Seek support from other vegans
Find others who share your passions and values – through on-line groups, classes, and local veg groups. Volunteer at a sanctuary or an organization that serves the causes you most care about. It’s important to connect with others who share your commitment. This helps to stay dedicated during times of discouragement, to strengthen hope during times of despair, and to enjoy camaraderie in serving a shared cause. Support from other vegans also gives insights for handling challenging situations.
2. Implement self-care practices
Daily habits such as meditation, mindfulness, spiritual practices, exercise, and good nutrition provide an essential foundation for coping with emotional and social challenges – and staying true to your values during difficult times. Identify a few self-care practices that strengthen you emotionally and physically, and commit to engaging in them regularly.
3. Connect with your core values and the reasons you became vegan
When we remember the reasons we adopted a vegan lifestyle, it gives us strength to navigate challenges that come up. As one of my research respondents said, “I check back often with my core beliefs. I know I don’t want to support violence and cruelty toward animals, or anyone for that matter, including myself.” Whatever your reasons for being vegan – compassion for animals, health reasons, environmental, and/or food justice – reconnect with these reasons often to strengthen and renew your commitment.
4. Live your compassion in daily life.
Advocacy and activism are powerful antidotes to feelings of helplessness, discouragement, or despair. As one of my respondents said, “Instead of letting those negative feelings bring me down, I channel them into determination to change something, to make something better in the world.”
5. Learn the skills of speaking up positively and effectively.
This includes gaining knowledge about veganism, so you can respond to common questions, concerns, and myths. Even more importantly, it entails developing constructive communication skills. When we are discussing topics that are emotionally charged, it can trigger us into fight-or-flight mode. We need to learn skills for calming our emotional reactions, and expressing ourselves in ways that create meaningful dialogue. We may need to set boundaries around which situations we are willing (or not willing) to be part of and explore new traditions for our time with loved ones.
If you find that this is a challenge, check out the teachings of vegan psychologists, Dr. Melanie Joy and Clare Mann. These powerful vegan leaders show us how to navigate social challenges in ways that create meaningful connections with others, while honoring our deepest values.
6. See yourself as a leader.
You are an early adopter of a movement for health, compassion, and planetary healing. In choosing a lifestyle based on a commitment to ethics and/or health, we must learn to care more about being true to our values than pleasing others. As one of my research participants stated, “I have become more independent in my thinking, less likely to succumb to fearing the opinions of others, less affected by trying to fit in, less likely to worry about being judged.”
7. Develop compassion for others’ journeys.
This isn’t easy when we want to see healing and change in our world ASAP. However, pressuring or judging others rarely works to create personal or social change. We need to remember that we are all conditioned from an early age to view eating certain animals as “natural, normal, and necessary,” as noted by psychologist Melanie Joy. It is not easy to wake from the trance of our upbringing and social conditioning. When we become frustrated by the slow pace of change, we can shift our mindset by being a positive role model who embodies the compassion, health, and ethics we wish to inspire in others.
Our journey to greater health and compassion is strengthened through transformative, meaningful connections. In discovering the art of true connection, we feel connected to our values, and deeply supported by ourselves, Nature, and other people. We also become a support and inspiration for others on their paths. True connection is a pathway leading us toward a world of compassion, sustainability, and flourishing for all.
Angela Crawford, Ph.D. is a psychologist and transformational coach. She is currently working on a book about the psychological, emotional, and spiritual impacts of a vegan lifestyle. Dr. Crawford is certified as a Master Vegan Lifestyle Coach and Educator through Main Street Vegan Academy and has a Plant-Based Nutrition certificate from the T. Colin Campbell Institute for Nutrition Studies at e-Cornell. She serves as a psychology advisor and contributor for weDIDit.Health, an on-line community that shares the benefits of a plant-powered lifestyle. She hosts a YouTube channel, The Vegan Transformation.
It’s time for the annual family Thanksgiving dinner, complete with a turkey in the center of the table. You are newly vegan, distressed about how turkeys and other farmed animals are treated…and wonder how you will handle this.
You decide at the last minute to go to a colleague’s social gathering. Once you are there, you realize that all the food being served is laden with meat or dairy products, and there is nothing vegan for you to eat.
You are passionate about the benefits of veganism – for animals, the planet, and human health – and want to share this with others. But you find that most people don’t want to listen and maybe even get annoyed at you for bringing it up.
Your coworker ridicules you for eating “rabbit food,” and constantly wants to debate you about veganism.
How do we handle these challenging situations? Each situation requires us to connect with what we truly want and need…and to take actions that move us toward meeting these ends.
In each situation, heartful communication is key. Communication that connects us with our selves and with others in meaningful and impactful ways. Communication that creates a space for true connection and true transformation.
Research in the areas of social science, psychology, and biology shows that we are literally wired to need connection with others. And because of our wiring, the fear of being rejected by others is deeply ingrained in us. Even if we aren’t conscious of it, that fear can lurk in our psyche at some deep level and make us reluctant to speak up when there may be conflict or disagreement.
Countless studies show how important social support is for our well-being. In fact, loneliness and isolation can be as detrimental to our health as cigarette smoking, high blood pressure, or lack of exercise. In addition, studies of the Blue Zones find that positive social connections promote longevity and quality of life.
For all these reasons, it’s important that we learn healthy relationship and communication skills. And yet, as vegans, we often face unique social situations that can challenge our sense of connection with others.
Let’s face it – conversations about veganism can elicit strong emotions on all sides. For many non-vegans, social conditioning around food habits, along with the carnisticbelief system that permeates our culture, contributes to strong emotional reactions when talk about diet comes up. And for vegans, heightened awareness of the suffering inherent in animal agriculture often drives intense feelings.
When a conversation triggers strong emotions, it can be hard to access our wise brain. Under these circumstances, it’s typical to go into fight-or-flight mode. Consequently, our blood flow is not going toward the parts of our brain that can respond in nuanced ways, but rather toward our more primitive brain, preparing us to fight or flee. This can play out in wanting to prove our point at all costs (fight), or at the other extreme, shutting down communication (flight). In either case, it’s unlikely that a meaningful conversation is going to happen.
Maybe you’ve experienced this in your communication as a vegan. Think about the scenarios at the beginning of this article. If you’ve been in similar situations, how have you expressed your feelings and perspectives? And how has the other person (or people) responded? If you are like many of us, you may have felt very frustrated and not heard. When we feel not heard or understood, we may find ourselves raising our voice or using more attacking language in how we communicate. And when we express our feelings from that state of mind, often the other person becomes defensive, and the conversation does not lead to any productive solutions or resolution.
We need to have ways to shift out of fight-or-flight mode back into our Wise Brain, so we can integrate mind, body, and spirit together into our words and actions.
How do we do this? The authors of the book Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When the Stakes are High suggest that we can shift to our Wise Brain by reflecting on our deeper intentions for the conversation. By connecting with our deeper intentions, and communicating accordingly, we create a greater sense of safety in the interaction. This sense of safety helps to lower defensiveness, and supports a meaningful, impactful, and mutually beneficial conversation.
Here are some tips for creating safe space for effective communication:
Connect with your intentions for the conversation. Ask yourself questions such as: What is the message I want to express? What do I hope to accomplish? What do I want for my relationship with this person? How might I best communicate or express myself to reach my purpose? Asking these questions can help to shift you out of reactivity to your emotionally intelligent Wise Brain.
If you start to notice that you or the other person are becoming defensive, arguing, or shutting down, shift your focus to restoring mutual safety, calm, and connection. This is important, so that both of you can calm your nervous systems and return to meaningful, generative communication. When people feel defensive, or are in fight-or-flight mode, they are not engaged in the part of their brain where learning, change, or productive communication can happen.
To help restore safety, you may want to express your intentions for the conversation, such as creating an environment where you and the other person are each able to express your feelings and perspectives and come to a mutual understanding.
Pay attention to your tone of voice and body language, as these are central to creating safe space for healthy communication.
Once a sense of safety is reestablished, you can return to the topic at hand, as space has now been created for meaningful dialogue. The other person will likely be more open to your message, and perhaps even curious to understand more.
When you express yourself, use I-messages, sharing your own story, feelings, wishes, and needs. No one can argue with your own story and feelings, and this way of sharing allows your listener to feel less defensive, with more curiosity and openness.
Draw on reflective listening, allowing for a flow of information and sharing. Being curious to understand the other person’s perspective (rather than judging or attacking) may bring you to a greater mutual understanding.
Agree to disagree, if needed. Come to a mutually workable agreement, where possible. Recognize that if there isn’t immediate agreement, sometimes you may be planting seeds that lead to new understanding and transformation down the road.
Learning healthy communication skills is an ongoing process. When it comes to emotionally laden conversations, our success starts with calming our nervous system, connecting with our Wise Brain, and creating safe space for dialogue to occur.
Effective communication is key to thriving as a vegan – and to creating a more compassionate, healthy world. Heartful communication allows a flow of information and sharing, and a meeting of hearts and minds. And in that meeting of hearts and minds, true connection and transformation can occur.
Note: This article is based on my recent keynote presentation for www.WeDIDIt.Health, available on YouTube.
Angela Crawford, Ph.D. is a psychologist and transformational coach. She is passionate about empowering people to create healthy, compassionate lives that nurture mind, body, spirit, and planet. Dr. Crawford is certified as a Master Vegan Lifestyle Coach and Educator, and has a Plant-Based Nutrition certificate from the T. Colin Campbell Center for Nutrition Studies at e-Cornell. She is currently doing research for a book on the transformative impact of a vegan lifestyle. She serves as a psychology advisor for WeDIDIt.Health, an online community that shares the benefits of a plant-powered lifestyle.
Note: This article contains excerpts from the e-book 7 Best Practices to Inspire Your Loved Ones to Go Plant-Based (available through WeDidIt.Health)
Have you experienced the amazing healing power of a plant-based lifestyle? After celebrating your own health improvements, and learning about the extensive research supporting a whole food plant-based (WFPB) diet, it’s common to wish that everyone could experience these same benefits. Perhaps you have loved ones who are struggling with heart disease, diabetes, obesity, or cancer, and you long to nudge them toward this lifestyle.
But all too often, others turn a deaf ear when we encourage them to try this way of eating. There is so much confusing and conflicting information out there about nutrition and health, it may appear as if a plant-based diet is just another fad.
Often others dismiss what we are sharing and question it in light of information from the media or even their health care providers. In the face of others’ reluctance or outright resistance, it’s easy to give up on encouraging healthier choices. However, while you can’t control others’ choices, you can help to inspire curiosity and hope. Stoking these embers of hope for a healthier future may start them on the path to change.
Below are seven tips for empowering others toward greater health with a plant-based diet. Consider the person(s) you hope to inspire as you mindfully engage in these practices.
1.Consider their readiness for change.
While we may wish to influence everyone to become healthier through a plant-based diet, the reality is that a plant-exclusive diet is not (yet) embraced by society. Many people find it difficult to adopt a way of eating that appears to go against familiar norms and traditions. Even some medical practitioners promote diets high in meat and dairy, and low in carbohydrates. Receiving this type of advice from trusted experts makes it difficult for many to accept that there is extensive research validating the health benefits of a plant-based diet.
In addition, research on the process of lifestyle change suggests that individuals go through stages of readiness in considering, initiating, and successfully maintaining change. When sharing about the benefits of a plant-based lifestyle, it’s helpful to consider the other person’s stage of change to determine which approaches will be most effective.
Where is your loved one on the change continuum? Are they strongly opposed to trying a plant-based diet? Are they somewhat receptive, but have a number of concerns and questions? Are they receptive and interested, but unsure how to make this lifestyle change in a healthy and sustainable way?
If the other person is firmly opposed to considering a plant-based diet, being a positive role model (practice 4) may be your best bet. However, be alert for times of greater receptivity to take the opportunity to share information that is relevant to their specific interests and concerns.
For those who are somewhat receptive, but are ambivalent due to concerns and/or misinformation about a vegan diet, practices 2, 3, and 5 may be helpful to lessen their fears, and raise awareness of the positives of this lifestyle.
If your loved one is intrigued by the possibilities of a plant-based diet, but unsure how to go about this new lifestyle, explore how to best support them with practical resources, role modeling, and developing new skills (practices 4, 5, and 6).
2. Tailor your message to their deepest concerns.
We are most impactful when we share information that is highly relevant to the other person. This may involve asking open-ended questions to understand their concerns surrounding health, nutrition, and diet, and their goals and wishes for these areas. What matters most to them? What are their greatest challenges and concerns? Listen and reflect back the key points they are sharing. This helps the other to feel heard, and allows you to focus your message in a way that is meaningful to the other person.
If they have serious health problems that impact their quality of life, they may be inspired by hearing stories of yourself or others healing through plant-based nutrition. For those who value physical fitness, it may pique their interest to learn about the benefits of this lifestyle for athletic performance. If they are environmentally conscious, they may be motivated by learning that a plant-based lifestyle can reduce their carbon footprint even more than switching to a hybrid car.
3. Address their barriers to change.
If the other person seems reluctant to consider a plant-based diet, explore their fears and obstacles. What do they see as being in the way? Listen empathically without judging. Provide support and understanding. Perhaps you once experienced similar challenges on your plant-based journey, and can build a sense of shared understanding by acknowledging this.
Once they have shared their concerns and feel heard, they may be more receptive to information, resources, and/or learning how you overcame similar challenges. For example, if they think it’s too much work to change their diet, perhaps you can suggest meal planning and cooking together to develop new skills. If they are afraid they won’t enjoy the food, you might explore plant-based recipes that create a healthier version of their favorite meals.
4. Show, don’t just tell.
One of the best ways to inspire others is to role model a healthy lifestyle. Develop a repertoire of scrumptious vegan dishes to share at social gatherings. Continue to educate yourself on the benefits of WFPB nutrition and build a support network with others who embrace this way of eating. This will help you remain inspired and committed to your plant-based lifestyle. As you enjoy better health, while overcoming any challenges in the process, your positive outlook and results may be an inspiration to your loved ones.
5. Share compelling documentaries.
Invite family and friends to watch What the Health, Forks over Knives, or The Game Changers. It’s amazing how many people have awakened to the benefits of going plant-based through watching a documentary. You might also recommend an article or a podcast that is relevant to their specific concerns. As they hear information shared by experts, and witness the stories of those whose health has been transformed, their view may expand to see nutrition and health in a whole new way.
6. Focus on positive messages and encouragement.
Lasting lifestyle change occurs more readily when individuals connect with their own reasons for change versus feeling pressured or brow-beaten. Support your loved one when they express interest in making healthy dietary changes. Encourage any positive steps toward a healthier, plant-strong lifestyle, rather than critiquing their unhealthy choices. It’s OK to express concerns about your loved one’s dietary choices and the potential impact on health, but you will be most impactful if these concerns are expressed in a compassionate and respectful way. Be aware that criticism and unsolicited advice is rarely effective in eliciting behavior change. Be an ally on their health journey, rather than an adversary.
7. Be patient (and keep faith).
Everyone has their own process of change, and it’s important to respect other people’s journeys. It may help to recall your own experience of moving toward a plant-based lifestyle, including any initial skepticism or resistance, as well as setbacks you may have experienced along the way. Also remember your reasons for being plant-based, so that you remain hopeful and motivated to continue sharing the message.
Often many seeds are planted over time before a person is ready to implement and maintain healthy lifestyle changes. Keep communication open, even if the other person doesn’t immediately adopt a plant-based lifestyle. Continue to share intriguing stories about the health, environmental, and ethical benefits of eating plant-based. Keep bringing delicious vegan food to social events. Someday you may be pleasantly surprised when the others in your life tell you they are eating a lot more plants. Maybe they will even be sharing great plant-based resources with you!
Continue to hold your vision for a healthier world. With each person who awakens to the health and planetary benefits of a plant-based lifestyle, we create an unstoppable momentum toward the healing and flourishing for all.
For a complimentary copy of my e-book on this topic (7 Best Practices to Inspire Your Loved Ones to Go Plant-Based, published by Hippocrates Table LLC, 2022;), which contains more in-depth tips and resources, take the one-question survey at WeDidIt.Health. You will then contribute to sharing the plant-based message with others as well!
Angela Crawford, Ph.D.is a psychologist and transformational coach. She is passionate about empowering people to create healthy lives that nurture mind, body, spirit, and planet. Dr. Crawford is certified as a Master Vegan Lifestyle Coach and Educator, and has a Plant-Based Nutrition certificate from the T. Colin Campbell Center for Nutrition Studies at e-Cornell. She is currently doing research for a book on the psychological and emotional benefits of a vegan lifestyle.
I was at a birthday gathering with my husband’s family only a couple of weeks after going vegan. After several years as a vegetarian, a series of awakening experiences led me to adopt a fully vegan lifestyle. But it was still new to me. I was still coming to terms internally with all that I was learning.
I found myself at a loss – how do I graciously decline the birthday cake, without making a big scene?
I was committed to this path, but I was still processing everything I had learned….about dairy cows, egg laying hens, and the cruelty inherent in the animal “products” we use in daily life. I didn’t feel ready to verbalize any of it – especially at a birthday party.
I had been vegetarian for 12 years for ethical reasons, and my decision to not eat animal flesh had been accepted by my loved ones. From early in my vegetarian journey, I limited dairy and eggs, primarily eating them only in social situations. But after opening my eyes and heart to the many forms of cruelty to animals, I committed to living as compassionately as possible in my choices of food, clothing, cosmetics, and household items.
And now, as I approached the birthday gathering, so soon after my vegan decision, I wondered how I would handle the inevitable cake made with eggs and dairy. Even though I was deeply committed to all that veganism represented, I couldn’t say the “V” word. I found the word “vegan” frozen on my lips.
I wondered why it was so hard to say it aloud to people in general, much less my loved ones. It seemed that it shouldn’t be so difficult. But, in reflecting, I realized that I was still overwhelmed by what I had learned:
The lives of dairy cows, so far removed from the bucolic scenes shown on milk cartons
The reality that cows don’t just “give” their milk—it’s meant for a baby calf, who is taken away soon after birth
The crowded and cruel conditions for commercial egg-laying hens (even those advertised as “free range”)
The slaughter process that is the end fate for all of these animals
All of these images still burned deeply in my mind.
I didn’t know what to say or how to explain it to others. I didn’t want to ruin the party. I didn’t want to stand out and be different. I didn’t want to make things difficult for others. I didn’t want to come across as judgmental. I didn’t want to be judged by others who didn’t understand veganism.
At that particular birthday party, I was not yet ready to speak up. With my husband’s support, I managed to avoid eating the cake, and no one else seemed to notice. However, while I succeeded in abstaining from the non-vegan cake and at the same time avoiding potential conflict with others, I became aware of an internal conflict…between the desire to live consistently with my values and the desire to fit in socially.
I realized that in order to successfully live a vegan lifestyle, I would need to develop a plan for handling social situations.
In those early weeks and months of being vegan, I found myself going through a process of ambivalence and re-commitment to my path. I would read something or watch a documentary, and be deeply distressed about what I was learning. But then, in social situations, I would be drawn to the path of least resistance, remaining silent.
Almost as if in a trance, I would fall back into old, familiar ways of thinking—and lose connection with my deep values and commitment. And yet, as I observed my inner struggle with compassion, ultimately I was able to stay committed to making this change. I realized that ambivalence and the desire to return to what feels familiar are often part of the process of lasting change.
For another social event, about a month later, I had time to prepare my approach. I spoke to the hostess ahead of time, and explained my decision to go vegan. I let her know that I would like to bring something vegan to the gathering. I was anxious initially, not sure how she would respond. But she was very supportive, and even expressed admiration about my lifestyle.
Through those early weeks and months, I learned to come to terms with my identity as a vegan. I committed to honoring my values, even when others didn’t see what I saw, even when I felt isolated or misunderstood, even when it was inconvenient. There was an internal transformation that was necessary before I found more ease in sharing my food and lifestyle choices with others.
Research suggests that I am not alone in my fears about challenging the status quo. Social stigma and negative perceptions from others are very real concerns among vegans. And yet, mastering these fears and learning to speak up with others are essential to thriving as a vegan.
Here are some tips for navigating the social waters:
Stay connected to your reasons for going vegan. Most of us have been conditioned to eat animals and to view this as “natural, normal, and necessary”. It takes time to undo this conditioning, and it takes courage to walk a new path that others may not understand. Watching documentaries, reading books, checking out vegan websites, and connecting with other vegans will provide support and encouragement as you embark on this new way of living.
Recognize that your needs matter. I had fears about being seen as difficult or demanding by eating in a way that was different than others. Gradually I realized that my personal needs and desires mattered, too. We help no one by negating our own well-being or deeper values.
Identify the situations that are most challenging for you and develop an action plan. Social events, travel, and eating out can be difficult for new vegans. Rather than leaving it to chance, or figuring it out in the moment, be proactive in planning a strategy. For example, instead of hoping there will be something you can eat at that social event, bring delicious vegan food you can eat and share with others. When eating out, call ahead or take the waiter aside to ask about vegan options. When travelling, bring healthy snacks, just in case.
Find the right time and place to share your veganism with others. Not everyone will be open to your discoveries about animal cruelty, or about the health or environmental benefits of plant-based eating. And sitting at the dinner table is not the best time or place to share these discoveries with others. Consider sharing about your veganism prior to the meal or gathering, or in a private conversation at another time.
Learn good communication skills.Beyond Beliefs, by Dr. Melanie Joy, is an excellent book about initiating constructive conversations with others. She also teaches the importance of having vegan allies, people in your life who may not be fully vegan, but who support you and stand with you in your decision.
Others may surprise you in positive ways. Many of my fears about others’ reactions were unfounded. When I shared from a place of authenticity and non-judgment, others were supportive. In fact, it often led to interesting conversations and greater closeness, even when the other person was not personally ready to embrace veganism. Many later asked for guidance on how to eat more plant-based.
Bring joyfulness to your vegan journey. Whatever your reason for going vegan, whether out of concern about animals, the planet, or your own health, there is great peace, joy, and freedom that comes from honoring your deepest values. Rather than deprivation, many vegans experience a surprising sense of affirmation, abundance, and possibility. And this is something we naturally want to share with others.
Angela Crawford, Ph.D 